The bastards will never be honest because there’s too many of them

Notes on cultivating and maintaining paranoid conspiracy theorem ideology


I’ve transcribed the following short list from a scrap of paper found in my coat pocket last week. I vaguely remember scratching it out as I hunched in a pub toilet, shaking - one of my weaker moments in the struggle to maintain some sort of sordid equilibrium between poverty, truth and reality:

In any given situation, boil the component parts of the issue down to their monetary value to find who really benefits

Try hard to cultivate your cynicism; once you’ve realised the reality of the situation it’s the only thing that’ll keep you happy

Harbour resentment for those who fail to see the truth
Never forget you’re a Trojan horse

There’re others who feel this way, it isn’t just you fighting the battle
Understand that the bastards only want to keep you scared and confused to make you easier to manage

Understand the bastards will never physically hurt you. The worst they’ll do is ignore you, leaving you behind as they march forward towards capitalist oblivion

The bastards will never be honest, there’s just too goddamned many of them, while those trying to keep them honest are too few and without power

Remember that by and large the bastards are not cast from the mould of evil. They’re just greedy, ill-tempered little crooks


djb.